who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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