Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
