Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
