All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
