SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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