I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
