He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
