Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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