Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
