You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
