i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
