You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
