that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
