I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
