we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
