Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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