I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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