how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
