She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I intend to get homeless drunk
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
