They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Send help, water and tortillas.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
