So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
