No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
