i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
