My nipple is on Facebook.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
