I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
