if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
