no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
