Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
