I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
