woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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