ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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