I don't think brook has ever known best
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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