threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
