p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
