Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
