does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
