I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
