is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
