Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
