Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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