help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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