your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
