If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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