So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
