Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
