So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
