Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
