Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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