i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
