I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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