what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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