She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
